1. |
Paul Bunyon's Cupboard
01:23
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We're going to Paul Bunyan’s cupboard to eat. We're fucking excited!
It’s been a rough year for yours truly. But now it’s time to eat!
We like big steaks!
We LOVE big steaks!
Tonight we dine!
Dine on this meat!
My pants have an elastic waist, just in case we go too hard.
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2. |
Frontier Daze
01:52
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This is my story about Frontier Daze. I hope you will listen and take heed.
Ok, go right ahead and take a seat.
I post an ad on Craigslist. It gets some great feedback!
So many people want to be friends with me.
But there can only be one winner.
Jerry is just packing so much heat!
Meet me in the green porta potty!
Don’t worry about the guy at the big gun stand.
He won’t suspect that we are living so very large.
Now’s my time to shine!
This is who I am!
I hope that you like it, buddy!
This hand is world famous!
Goodbye, I’ll see you in a year.
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3. |
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This will go down in history as my life’s work.
Plus I am pretty hungry.
This is what we call killing two birds with one stone.
I’ve never seen such meat! Not even in my dreams.
Ok, I admit it.
My jaw is getting kinda sore.
And I think my filling just fell out.
But I am a good red-blooded American boy!
My widdle belly is bulging. But quitting is not an option!
This goes out to the greatest goddamn country!
And that’s America you goddamn commie!
Am I meeting your little expectation?
Who fucking cares?! I just finished supper!
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4. |
Handyman
04:27
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5. |
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What I’m about to say cannot ever leave this room.
I had been planning to take this to my grave.
But the guilt is eating at my iddy biddy soul.
I think I ruined my classmate’s life!
I could feel its anger while I was playing at recess.
Goddammit.
I think I blacked out.
The next thing I remember is poop all over the wall.
Please God help me!
Yes, I tried to clean it.
But there was just too much damage.
Time for plan B!
I went right back to class and acted like nothing happened.
Chadwick went in.
Chad was such a loudmouth then.
Nothing has changed.
I blamed it on Darryl Strauss, just a sweet nerd.
What the fuck?
They believed me!
I wish I could take it back.
But it’s too late for sorry.
I will always blame myself for his downfall.
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